Bar fight with the Thin White Duke.

I can see you, but you can’t see me. I have cut a hole in my newspaper & I sit with the world’s current affairs dripping down my face as I gawp at your beauty through my spy hole of love. Like a monkey drunk on the fermented fruit of the forest floor I am intoxicated with lust for your beautiful head & the face that sits on it’s noble & all conquering chin piece. But alas I have to turn away before I am engulfed in the flames of your extravagant exquisiteness & return to my blog before I digress into bed I will never rise from.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to draw for a living. I was especially reminded of this when clearing out under the stairs at my mother’s house (this is not a euphemism). I found an old letter I had written to Marvel Comics UK. The letter oozed hopes & dreams of a future involving fast cars & GIRLS, I imagined myself sipping cream sodas with Stan Lee in New York, while we discussed the future of Spiderman & the Marvel Universe in general. We would then hit Studio 54 & get into a drug fuelled punch up with David Bowie & recalcitrant rock god Freddie Mercury. Life would be one long mad ride until I crashed & burned, retiring to Beverley Hills to live with the Fresh Prince’s Uncle Phil in his palatial mansion, a torrid affair with Aunt Vivian would take place, but I’d blame it on Jazzy Jeff.

The only problem to this dream was I can’t draw to a level that a comic artist would even deem laughable. Say the word ‘perspective’ or ‘anatomically correct’ to me & I break out in a cold sweat, froth erupts from my mouth & I try & kiss you on the lips to distract you from the question you just asked me, this would normally work. But it would only detract from the elephant in the room, which incidentally I could draw side on, but not as a bird’s eye view or with any depth.

But this hasn’t stopped me my friends. NO NO NO! I continue to battle on with the pen & the ink. Much like Sean Connery, I never say never again. I have decided to send a new letter to Marvel Comics now that I have honed my skills. I have been training for YEARS, much like a really slow version of Ralph Macchio in the Karate Kid. Obviously they couldn’t have drawn out Ralph’s training in the film over a period of years as it would have been properly boring & the film would have been called the Karate Man, which has straight to VHS written all over it. My submission to Marvel will be the life story of Harry Nilsson, below is a sneak peak at part of the graphic novel. New York beckons…