It wasn’t a mirage, it was an Oasis.

As I look from the window I see the sun rising over the hills, a shape shifts in front of the heated yellow orb. Do my eyes deceive me is it really you running towards me? Suddenly other shapes join you. WOLVES. I race from the lodge, rifle in hand, running towards you & let rip a thunderous blog from my blunderbuss, the wolves scatter. We embrace as King Wolf turns on the hill, shaking his paw at us he growls, ” I’ll fucking eat you next time!!!”

I laugh up towards the heavens as we hold each other tightly & reply to our would be furry assailants, ” WILL YOU FUCK, YOU SHOWER OF BASTARDS.”

But back to the blog that saved our heroic lives, sometimes life hands you an opportunity which should be grasped. Yesterday I walked past Noel Gallagher in the street, if I had not gone to Boots the chemist & then to another shop where I ended up discussing the merits of online shopping with the store manager, I would never have walked past Noel at that EXACT moment.

Now, as one of the original Oasis fans from way back when this was an earth shaking experience for me. To see one of your idols walk past you in the street makes you question the space time continuum. I turned to look for Al from Quantum Leap so I could demand the odds from Ziggy on the chances of this event occurring. Alas he wasn’t there as he isn’t real.

The experience was ruined though as Mr Gallagher was on his phone & I thought it would be rude to interrupt him mid conversation, incurring his & his burly minder’s wrath. I watched them disappear down the street, ready to give chase should the king of Brit pop finish his conversation. But alas it wasn’t to be. OH WHAT COULD OF BEEN!

In a parallel universe Noel & I would chat & he would then invite me for a drink as he thought I was such a double mad for it top laugh. He would then employ me as his Svengali & I would change my name to Rudy Tiptop. Eventually I would become Prime minister due to my wise words & ability to avert a crisis with a hilarious pun. When I finally took my place as king of the world, riding a genetically engineered cross between a silver back gorilla & a stallion, I would look back on that fateful moment when I bumped into Noel Gallagher & think what a tragic turn my life COULD have taken had I not. I would then kick my trusty steed in the sides & gallop off to survey my next kingdom. HUZZAH!

Below is a sketch of the fateful moment went it all went fucking tits up.