Never look a Gifs horse in the mouth
The gibbous moon shines down on me from the night sky, I look up to it’s pock marked & alien surface & can’t help but wonder if you too are pondering the moon on this barmy night. As I study the lunar orb I notice something moving on it’s surface. I whip out my Fisherprice telescope & jam it into my eye socket. Do my eyes deceive me? No it is you! I call your name but you do not hear me, you carry on cavorting with the cheese men of the orb & I fall to my knees, using my latest blog to wipe away the tears of my heart broken interplanetary longings.
How easy it would be to transform the previous paragraph into an animated gif is anyone’s guess. I am thinking it would take 500 monkeys, 25 years just to turn the Apple Mac on & register their copy of Adobe Photoshop just to start the fucking task. But animated gifs have been playing on my mind for some time now. (Since yesterday afternoon). While conducting some research for an illustration project, time & again animated gifs popped up on my screen like Texan strippers covered in BBQ juice. I was at the same moment appalled & wild with lust. What strange beasts these animated gifs are! Like Gizmo in Gremlins or Ludo in Labyrinth, vulnerable creatures with hidden strengths, capable of horrifying acts that would leave you swimming in your on filth & screaming for your scout leader.
With this in mind I set myself to the task of learning how to make these magical creatures. BELOW IS MY FIRST EFFORT. Prepare yourselves for a flood of such animated atrocities over the coming weeks, months & years.