The Magic Rabbit.
Boom! Flash! Ka-bang! That my friends is my magnificent magician like entrance to this blog. You look up from your cocktail with those heavy lidded & beautiful eyes, the indifference in your majestic retinas is plain to see as I prance about the stage like a gazelle in a tuxedo.
Magicians, Pfft. Wizards? YES! At last the final Harry Potter film is upon us, I shall be dressing as Dumbeldore or some other crack head wizard king & getting my fuck on at the local picture house. I’ll be shouting spells at fellow audience members & having duels & shit at the back if the cinema!
“PASTARAGUCHOPS!” that’s a spell I invented, it basically turns your legs into tagliatelle & your face into cheap tomato sauce. It’s a good one, I may pass it on to JK Rowling. I imagine the cast of Harry Potter are very hungover today as last night was the premiere, oh to have been in that illustrious group, hobnobbing with the likes of Jonathon Ross & getting celebritied out if my tiny mind.
I could content myself with the Manchester International Festival, but I didn’t get any tickets & must console myself with following people on twitter who have been to events, & live my life vicariously through the great & the good. Occasionally sending them sickening tweets about how much I love them & wishing I was their house elf. I did tweet JK Rowling this morning asking if she fancied collaborating in a spin off TV Series of Harry Potter called ‘Desperate House Elves’. I await her response with baited breath…
But as always my beautifully lobed reader I have digressed, let us cast our mind back to the Manchester Festival, I was commissioned by Manchester Chimp to create two illustrations for an article about the aforementioned celebration of music & art. The first illustration is my interpretation of an opera based on Bernard Manning’s life written by Noel Gallagher. The second illustration is an unholy depiction of St Bernadine, the patron saint of gambling, PR & California amongst other things.
I do enjoy a bit of editorial illustration, so if you need any doing give me a fucking shout. Right, I’m off to inject Pimms directly into my sex glands in an attempt to bring summer back in a new take on the Native American Indian Rain dance. If the weather’s good this weekend you have my pubic bone to thank.